When talking about waves, the first thing that comes to my mind is the ocean. Surfers catch them one after the other and get a short but intense rush after experiencing each ride. They travel the world looking for the best waves that oceans can offer, and take a couple of minutes to enjoy that “one special ride”. But what if we don’t need to surf the ocean to experience waves in our life?
Waves are everywhere
Waves are not only a phenomenon seen in oceans. They are found to be an essential part of the tiniest particles we know, – atoms. When measured, atomic activity has a wave-like behaviour. Physicists believe atomic activity to affect different dimensions of reality in a way that we could only imagine decades ago.
Having said that, we can embrace the idea that waves are literally everywhere, from radio signals to water and even in thought patterns. Moreover, have you heard about the Heat Wave, the Age Wave, the Yeezy boost 700 Adidas “Wave Runner”, or sound waves?
Whichever you choose, a wave ultimately is a disturbance that travels freely through a medium from one location to another with an equilibrium position, considered to be the centre.
Connecting to the same wavelength
Thoughts have a wave-like behaviour too. If we centre our mental state in one position, our thought wave will freely move around that specific mental state. As we experience life, we shift our mental state enough to make the wavelength larger or narrower, depending on how open to new experiences we are.
Not in vain, the terminology “wavelength” applies to people who connect easily. Have you ever used the expression: “We’re in the same wavelength!”?
That is exactly what I mean when catching the good waves in life. No matter what your mental state is, catch the positive ones, the highest ones. They will take you to experience new mental states as waves stretch up and become higher.
Catch them the same way surfers catch them in the water. Be aware though, the negative or lower waves can equally take you to more negative mental states, just like when a surfer is caught beneath a wave, things can get rough on the lower end. Waves always expand to both sides, make sure you catch the higher end!
When was the last time you observed the beauty of the tree next to your house? Or plants in your lawn with those lovely colours and incredible flowers? Or how long has it been when you watched the sunrise or sunset with a cup of tea without any stress or tension about what you need to do next?
In our everyday life, we are blessed with nature’s miracle and great opportunities to stay happy, yet most of us tend to ignore them in a mad rush of ever changing professional achievements, assignments, pending bills, hours of wait in daily’s traffic and what not. There is an old saying in Sanskrit, which could be translated into “life is happy and joyful when you take it slowly and have time to do nothing”.
With thousands of years of struggle and tendency of fighting for survival, the human brain enjoys the adrenaline rush, which has become a new normal for our brain instead of being relaxed, calm and content. However, most of the scientific and ancient text concludes that our brain is most efficient and productive, when it stays in its natural state, which is being calm, clear and tranquil.
Here are some simple hacks to stay happy and enjoy the beauty of the world around us.
1) Social connection
Humans are designed to live in society and having people around them. Our lifestyle has a huge impact on physical and mental development. Social cohesion has a positive impact on our longevity and happiness. The Ted Talk by Susan Pinker, a developmental psychologist reveals how in-person social interactions are not only necessary for human happiness but also could be a key to health and longevity. Hence, our happiness greatly depends on quality and quantity of time spent with others.
2) Being generous
Generosity is one of the basic human characters and by default, we all feel happy while doing a simple act of kindness and generosity. An experimental study by researchers at the University of Zurich explored the connection between generosity and happiness, providing behavioural and neural evidence that supports the link between generosity and happiness. So, believe it or not, you feel happy when making the decision to give.
3) Practicing gratitude
Saying thank you is one of the simplest ways to make someone happy. The small doses of gratitude have huge impact on chemical reaction in our brains and they make us happier and more joyful. We have a lot to be grateful for in our lives, starting from having a good meal, being healthy, waking up smiling for another day, being surrounded by good friends, family and a lot more. So, if you want to be happy, start expressing your gratitude to them. Want to know more about science behind it? Check this Harvard medical school publication on a research done by two psychologists.
4) Power of mindfulness
Sitting idly, trying to relax, doing nothing and focusing on one thought at a time. This is the key to happiness. Huge amount of ancient text from Eastern world says that happiness depends on ourselves, and a practice of mindfulness is one way to ensure it. Several scientific studies have shown that meditation increases grey matter of the brain. In simple terms, meditation helps grow the happy mind. It is the best stress buster available for free. Moreover, researchers have found out that with regular mediation, brain tends to have noticeably thicker tissue in the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for attention and control functions of the brain.
Excited? Give a try with Peace Revolution’s 42 days online self-development meditation program for free!
5) Spend time with nature and stay physically active
Nature has a power to rejuvenate us quickly with full of positive energy. Results showed that those who have done 30 minutes of light exercise including jogging in forests had significantly lower heart rates, they were more relaxed and had less cortisol level leading to less stress and anxiety and better moods than others. The researchers concluded that there’s something about being in the nature that had a beneficial effect on stress reduction. For instance, researchers from Stanford University found that those who walked in nature experienced less anxiety, rumination, as well as more positive emotions in comparison to the urban walkers. They also improved their memory, creativity and liveliness.
Lastly, although it comes from our modern lifestyle, staying away from phone and computer for a day in a week and focusing on building a connection with you own self is another way to make yourself happy and relaxed.
Kuldeep Singh can be reached out at twitter @Kuldeep_lko
There’s a saying that giving birth is the most creative aspect of life. By giving birth, people create new beings and that is undoubtedly one of the greatest and hardest decisions one can make. Women have been involved in pregnancy since the beginning of life. In the past, it was simply one of the jobs that women were going to undertake unquestionably and inevitably; any woman would have children someday!
However, being pregnant and having children one after the other was not easy. So with the progress of science and invention of birth control methods, things have changed. In the modern world, women have a choice to become a mother. It has been mostly said that women love to experience pregnancy by nature, however even if this is true and ALL the women want to have babies, it may not always be done with enough self-awareness.
When you do something unconsciously, the risk of dangers and inefficiencies are high. Needless to mention that we are all aware of the great efforts and pain that our mothers and fathers went through to bring us up well. Hence, we are going to talk about the ways which make this part of mothers’ lives more comfortable and less demanding; ways which add more mindfulness to the journey of pregnancy. What should we do to enjoy this period of life?
1) First of all, bear in mind that you have a CHOICE! It’s your life and it depends on you if you would like to add this role to other parts of your life. Being a mother is an endless effort, so you should want it strongly.
2) Decide for the best time. This largely depends on how much you and your partner are prepared for that. In addition to your family’s economical situation, the mind preparation is also important. Are you ready to deal with the obstacles you are going to face? Is your partner eager enough to study the issues and stand besides you? Are you both able to dedicate enough time to nourish your little baby?
3) Clean up your diet and eliminate unhealthy foods. You need to prepare your body, mind and spirit for the journey of bringing life into this world. You also need to limit your exposure to toxins. A conscious mother does not want to expose her baby to something which might lead to probable abnormalities.
4) Balance your life. If you have no health problem, you do not need to quit your job. But you need to dedicate some time for yourself. Avoid crazy working hours and enjoy your time. Have enough sleep and some time to study the books related to childbirths and child education or simply enjoy reading novels and doing other entertainment.
5) Do yoga. Yoga is considered as one of the best exercises for pregnant women. It is beneficial for both your body and mind. It improves your sleep and increases the strength and flexibility of your muscles which makes the childbirth easier. It also reduces stress and anxiety.
6) Meditate every day. If you feel weak and scared, it’s probably the time to connect more with your body and inner self. Meditate every day; it strengthens your mind and gives you enough power to deal with your fears. It also helps you reduce stress and be more relaxed.
Doing yoga and meditation are very important for those mothers who feel vulnerable and have a big fear inside. Fear of labour pain is sometimes so high that some mothers prefer to have a Caesarean section (also known as C-section) rather than a natural birth. We should indicate that although science has brought us invaluable benefits and improved our life, it has a tendency to interfere too much with our choices. In some countries which have a high rate of C-Section, pregnant women are usually considered as patients who need medical help! You are not sick, this is very natural for a woman’s body. Your body is created for that. If your tests are good and you have a healthy body and normal situation, you don’t need to face the risks of C-Section. You are strong enough to give birth.
Do you have further recommendations? Comment below.
Photo credits: Josh Bean on Unsplash
Growing up and facing the reality of becoming an adult might be overwhelming for some of us. It seems like all the everyday life hardships affect our life quality and we cannot do anything to change this.
The good news is: we can improve our well-being and our lives. No need to do something magical, but we can follow some simple life hacks. Paying attention to details, to our minds and bodies is the secret. Sounds complicated, but let’s see ten of the most successful life improvement secrets that actually work.
1. Wake Up Early
I know, we are all waiting for those weekend days, when you can sleep how much you want, when you do not have to go to your job and can actually spend time with yourself. But, if you sleep until noon, how much time for yourself is left?
The answer is: too little. Waking up early is the biggest secret to improve your life. You will have more time to invest in your hobbies and yourself. As Benjamin Franklin once said: “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise”.
2. Get Rid of Your Bad Habits
We all have some dirty pleasures. While some of us are smoking, some are eating a lot of sweets when nervous. These bad habits are constantly affecting our life quality and we are not doing anything at all to change this. They are jeopardizing our goal accomplishment and our physical and mental health.
As James Clear says, you do not eliminate a bad habit, you replace it. A lot of our bad habits form when we are bored or stressed. So, it is better to replace a bad habit with a good one, a habit which is satisfying the same needs as the previous one.
3. Take a Break
We are constantly living in a rush. Some days, even if we wake up early, it seems like we do not have enough time. We have to go to work, meet with friends, cook and eventually, read or watch a series.
We all know how tiring and stressful a day can become. Sadly, we do not have a pause button, but we can take a break. You cannot expect to have success, to be effective or creative when you are stressed or tired. Taking a break can be beneficial for both your mental and physical health.
4. Read Books
A very common piece of advice is to read more and more books. Books make you smarter. So, why not improve your abilities to ease your life? Why not relax a little bit? Why not learn something new? Not only do we have to take care of our body, we have to do the same for our soul and mind.
This is the easiest way to stay updated and learn something new at the same time. If you feel that your reading pace prevents you to spend more time on this hobby, you can learn to read 300 percent faster in just 20 minutes. Why don’t you give it a try?
5. Identify Your Values
Have you ever wondered what guides our behaviour and a way of thinking? What makes us act the way we do? The answer is our values. Even though for most of us it is hard to identify what are the most important things to us, it is not impossible. You can ask a coach for help, or you can try to identify your core values by yourself.
It is important to know yourself the best you can. These values influence your way of being and living your life. But, you can use them to your advantage. You can get rid of the things that harm you and you didn’t even know. Act according to your core values and you will be happier and happier.
6. Set SMART Goals
The concept of SMART goals is often present in the corporate environment. Yet we can use it in our everyday life too. Of course, we all have goals and dreams, we all want to have them fulfilled. But what is it that makes it so hard to even start to accomplish them?
Put aside reasons like a low level of motivation, lack of time or tiredness. Start working on how you set your goals. SMART comes from Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bounded. If you set your goals too general, it will come hard to evaluate if you achieved them.
So, follow the rules of SMART goals. It is the first step in your journey of fulfilling your dreams and accomplishing your goals. Having something more specific to follow will make your journey easier and more enjoyable.
7. Practice Positive Thinking
We have all heard about the power of positive emotions. Emotions have recently raised the interest of researchers. And learning about them and how to control them can improve your quality of life.
The positive thinking can be present in many forms, starting from optimism and ending with self-efficacy. What is most important: the power of positive thinking is increased by our core values. So, if you have identified your core values, you have probably changed your way of thinking and behaving at least a bit.
You can learn about what makes you happy and how your connections with others can influence your life in a positive way. The power of positive thinking is unimaginable and can give your super powers! You may also consider reading “Zen and the art of happiness” by Chris Prentiss, it can change the way you live your life.
8. Practice Mindfulness
Focusing on your past or on the things you could have done better will have no positive influence. Mindfulness is a technique that helps you stay present. It is based on meditation and helps you concentrate on the present moment.
This technique teaches you how to sharpen your concentration skills by using breath as an anchor to the present moment. Meditation has powerful benefits on your mental health and on your stress level.
If you are a beginner, you may find it difficult at first. The most important is not to give up. Continue, learn how to do it and become your own master of relaxation.
9. Keep Your Back Straight
Jordan B. Peterson has a famous saying: “If you slump around, with the same bearing that characterizes a defeated lobster, people will assign you a lower status, and the old counter that you share with crustaceans, sitting at the very base of your brain, will assign you a low dominance number.” This quote underlines the power of susceptibility.
There are a lot of things that harm us or make us happy and we don’t even know how. On the same side, there are a lot of ways to improve your lifestyle, and you are not aware of them.
Keeping your back straight and your shoulders back are some of these effective and subliminal ways that help you keep the anxiousness and sadness away. Just give it a try!
10. Surround Yourself with People That Love You
Yes, we have all heard the famous advice: Choose your friends wisely. Having lots of friends who say that they will be there for you any moment you will need them, is a nice thing to have. But are they all true friends?
Even though the friendship is a long-term one, it is wise to keep in mind that the human nature is mysterious sometimes. And it also works in some strange ways. We expect the others to be fair and sincere with us like we are to them.
That’s why it is important to surround yourself with people that love you, that won’t let you down and will be a source of motivation and encouragement.
No one wants to have a life full of boredom and stress. A life with no accomplishments and no dreams fulfilled. That’s why we have to learn to control the things we can and accept the things that we cannot control.
A happy life is a life lived to its fullest. Even though there might be hardships, it is important to know how to overcome them. Take into consideration adopting new lifestyles and new ways of thinking.
Even if it is not something practical to do, it’s something highly effective. Embrace and decipher all the secrets that will totally change the way you live and your perspective of the world.
Photo credits: https://www.freeimages.com/photo/inspiration-again-1383695
You know meditation is good for you, but did you know that it actually changes the brain in positive ways? Meditation is increasingly being used to overcome addiction because addiction itself is a negative changing of the brain, a chemical addiction. If meditation can alter the brain for the positive, addiction therapy can include more holistic, long-lasting measures. But how exactly does meditation shift the brain?
Meditation comes with a host of neurological benefits, with studies showing that it changes the volume of gray matter as well as minimizing the activity within the “me” hubs of the brain. One study out of UCLA showcased how those who meditated for several years had brains better preserved than those who didn’t. Participants had to have meditated for at least 20 years and were found to have more grey matter in all parts of the brain. Lead researcher Florian Kurth says, “We expected rather small and distinct effects located in some regions that had previously been associated with meditating—instead, what we actually observed was a widespread effect of meditation that encompassed regions throughout the entire brain.”
Yale University released a study that highlighted how meditation retards the brain’s “me” center, otherwise known as the default mode network (DMN). If you find yourself regularly having your mind wander and experiencing selfish thoughts, DMN is at fault. It’s active when we’re not focusing on anything and when we allow our minds to wander. “Mind-wanderers” are considered less happy than others, prone to brooding and worrying. Meditation has a quieting effect on the brain, slowing down this area and offering better concentration.
Anxiety and Depression
Another study out of Johns Hopkins considered mindfulness and meditation to treat anxiety and depression. Researchers found that meditation had the ability to minimize depression, pain, and anxiety symptoms. According to lead researcher Madhav Goyal, those who take low doses of antidepressants experienced just as much help when prescribed meditation. “A lot of people have this idea that meditation means sitting down and doing nothing. That’s not true,” says Goyal. “Meditation is an active training of the mind to increase awareness, and different meditation programs approach this in different ways.”
Harvard researcher Sara Lazar discovered that medication can increase volume in a number of areas in the brain. After eight weeks of a mindfulness-based stress reduction study, it was found that participants had an increase in the cortical thickness throughout the hippocampus, the part of the brain in charge of memory. Emotional regulation parts of the brain and self-referential processing units also enjoyed a boost in volume. Lazar also found that parts of the brain volume decreased, particularly in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for stress, pain, and anxiety. Through meditation, Lazar’s team discovered that the changes in the brain also led to changes in how the participants actually felt.
Another study considered the link between meditation and attention spans/concentration. A lot of people struggle with concentration, with Google researchers saying that westerners have worse attention spans than goldfish. However, a study found that in just two weeks of meditation training, participants had better memory and focus. The verbal reasoning part of the GRE was used to gauge changes. Their average scores were so much better; it equated to 16 percentile points (something college and high school students would be thrilled to achieve). Focusing attention is at the heart of any meditation program, so the natural increase in cognitive skills is an added bonus.
Research studies linking meditation and social anxiety are also well-founded. The mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) movement, headed by the University of Massachusetts’ Center for Mindfulness and director Jon Kabat-Zinn, claims that meditation is a key factor in reducing overall stress levels both mentally and physically. The studies have also reported that in an eight-week course, the benefits are evident even years later (when participants didn’t continue beyond those eight weeks).
Meditation is a true game changer and one of the simplest ways you can alter your brain for the better. We have so much stimulation directed at us around the clock, it can easily overwhelm the body. Meditation is a way to get back to your center, quiet the mind, and let the brain do a little recovery work. It needs rest and proper workouts, too, both of which meditation can provide. A healthy brain is a part of a healthy body.
This is a collaborative post supporting our Peace In Peace Out initiative.
Our human elements need maintenance. Meditation theory understands that we, as human beings, are composed of body and mind that relate to each other as the hardware and software do in the computer. And we know that if we don´t pay much attention to any of those elements, illnesses arise and our decaying process speeds up. Our body needs care – water, clothe, shelter, exercise, and nourishment. And our mind, our inner world, our consciousness, needs proper care too. This type of care can be called Mental Health, or, Psychological Care.
In order to sensibilize ourselves about our own health, we require experiencing ailment. There is no other way. Experiencing both sides of the coin gives us knowledge, and by getting sick we understand that we need to take care of a certain aspect of our health to which we didn´t pay attention before. In our body this is easy to see, few days with flu are uncomfortable enough to pay more attention to its causes and take some actions to prevent the same experience in the future. For our minds, when we are burnt out, when we are stressed out and collapsing, creating chaos in any aspect of our lives, is when we realize that we need to learn how to take care of it.
Meditation is one of the most effective ways, a good medicine, to heal our mind from stress and related illnesses (this Harvard Health post talks nicely about it). Relaxation is a key part of the process, it´s actually the foundation of our meditation practice because it is by relaxing that we learn to unload our mind from worries, problems, heavy emotions. Those things are a part of our daily life. Left unsupervised, they cause stress, anxiety, emotional problems, insomnia, digestive problems etc. The list is long.
Medicine is as important as prevention. The cycle of knowledge is not complete, the lesson remains unlearnt until we not only heal but also learn to manage and prevent the same unfortunate experience. We examine the causes and act upon them. If we know that A creates B, and B is not something that we want to experience too often, we develop strategies to prevent A. If I discover that I´m allergic to lactose, I check the sources of it and avoid them, or, if I can´t help it, I take a pill to decrease and manage the symptoms. As simple as that.
What we can do for our psychological health is to ask a couple of important questions in order to check how everything is going. These questions are not exhaustive (there are more that you can try), but these are a good starting point:
- What gives you mental clarity and inner peace?
- What stresses you out?
- How do you relax after a long day?
- How do you take care of your mind?
The answers to these questions are key to your psychological wellness and can help you a big deal to clarify where to act on to take proper care of your own mind. After all, the things that weigh on our minds have a great impact on the way we deal with our job/studies, relationships, duties and life in general. They can create chaos or peace, it´s up to us.
“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky” Rabindranath Tagore
So what is mindfulness? Everybody uses this term, but do we really know what it means? A mindful person is someone who lives in the present while calmly accepting their feelings and thoughts, and uses them as a therapeutic technique.
Living in a state of mindfulness is not something you can achieve overnight. It’s not a magic trick that you can perform and transform your entire life in just a second. It’s a journey of self-discovery that might take one year or fifty years. It doesn’t matter; all the matters is the process. This is how you live in the present.
You Are Not Your Thoughts
A few years ago when I was practicing mindfulness, I’ve received a powerful insight. While I was meditating I had a powerful vision. I saw my whole life revealed in front of my eyes. I understood that time is nothing more than an illusion. We like to think about the past and the future as something that has an influence over us. But that’s totally false. “Live in the present!” is what everybody tells us.
Just forget about everything that has happened until this moment and focus only on what you are doing NOW. Feel good about yourself while doing it. Only then you will understand that your thoughts do not define you. They are only passing mental phenomena. Try doing the following exercise: Find yourself the perfect position, relax, and just watch your thoughts. Don’t hang on to them, just let them fly.
You Stop Stressing for the Small Stuff
We are constantly stressing about unimportant stuff. Our child draws on the wall and we are almost having a heart attack. We care so much about every insignificant detail that we forget to look at the bigger picture. We are draining our energy on nonsensical stuff without even thinking. We are programmed from birth to react like this.
It’s not our fault that we are like this, but it is our duty to change and embrace our true reality. Let me tell you a little secret. Everything that happens in our life is something good that is meant to point us in the right direction. We are always growing, so embrace each moment as something that brings you new growing opportunities.
You Appreciate Things More
Paying attention to all the details that surround us can be done only if we manage to maintain a calm and relaxed state of mind. We are always in a rush, but why? We always feel like there is something more to be done or that we haven’t done enough.
Have you ever tried watching a tree grow? What kind of question is this? Who would have time to do something like that? You see, here is the problem. We think that we don’t have time, but time is an illusion. Beauty is everywhere, watch it, feel it and embrace it. When there is beauty inside, there is beauty outside.
You Understand and Develop Compassion
Some say that awareness and compassion is the same thing. That might be true. Being aware of the present moment will make you much more attentive to the world around you. When we are living in the moment, we are more in tune with other people experiences. We start to understand that everything is connected and that we are all one single organism. So, we help other people, not because we have to, but because we understand that their pain is our pain.
You Learn the Art of Acceptance
We are spending most of our days fighting the present moment, instead of accepting it completely. We are spending time judging every event that’s happening to us, rather than figuring out a way of using it to expand our perception. Living in a state of mindfulness gives you the opportunity to accept everything that’s around you. You understand that every living being is a part of you, and hurting them will mean hurting yourself.
Acceptance means that you do not resist anything; you embrace it and transform it. Going against the tide will not do any good to you. Because if you manage to understand that you are everything and everyone, you will also understand that you can’t fight yourself.
Living in the moment is your true nature, and everything else is just an illusion. The past and the future are only illusive constructs made especially to restrain your mind from growing. We live like this since our birth. It’s time to wake up and see the world for what it is. Everything that moves and breaths is a part of us, and our duty, as intelligent beings, is to cherish and protect it.
Photo credits: http://bit.ly/2oG6jv0
Nuestros elementos humanos necesitan mantención. La teoría de la meditación entiende que nosotros, como seres humanos, estamos compuestos por cuerpo y mente que se relacionan entre sí como el software y el hardware lo hacen en la computadora. Sabemos, además, que si no le prestamos mucha atención a cualquiera de esos elementos, surgen enfermedades y el proceso natural de deterioro se acelera. Nuestro cuerpo necesita cuidado – agua, abrigo, ejercicio, comida. Y nuestra mente, nuestro mundo interior, nuestra conciencia, necesita su trato apropiado también. A este tipo lo llamamos Salud Mental o Cuidado Psicológico.
Para sensibilizarnos sobre nuestra propia salud requerimos experimentar la enfermedad. No hay de otra forma. Experimentar ambos lados de la moneda nos entrega conocimiento, y al enfermarnos entendemos que necesitamos cuidar cierto aspecto de nuestra salud que no habíamos atendido antes. Ver esto en nuestro cuerpo es fácil, un par de días de gripe bastan para prestar atención a las causas y tratar de prevenir la misma experiencia en el futuro. Para nuestra mente, cuando estamos agotados, estresados y en colapso, creando caos en cualquier aspecto de nuestra vida, es cuando nos damos cuenta de que tenemos que aprender a cuidar de ella.
La meditación es una de las formas más efectivas, la mejor medicina, de sanar nuestra mente (este artículo en el Harvard Health habla sobre esto). La relajación no solo es un aspecto clave del proceso, es, de hecho, la base de nuestra práctica porque es relajando que aprendemos a descargar nuestra mente de preocupaciones, problemas, emociones pesadas. Estas cosas son parte de nuestra vida diaria y dejadas sin supervisión causan estrés, ansiedad, problemas emocionales, insomnio, problemas digestivos, etc. La lista es larga.
La medicina es tan importante como la prevención. El ciclo del conocimiento no se completa, la lección permanece sin ser aprendida hasta que no solo sanamos sino que aprendemos a manejar y prevenir la misma experiencia desafortunada. Examinamos las causas y actuamos en consecuencia. Si sabemos que A produce B, y B no es algo que queremos experimentar muy seguido, desarrollamos estrategias para prevenir A. Si descubro que soy alérgica a la lactosa, busco las fuentes de ese componente y las evito o, si no puedo evadirlas, tomo una pastilla para disminuir y manejar los síntomas y efectos. Tan simple como eso.
Podemos comenzar a ocuparnos de nuestra salud psicológica haciéndonos un par de preguntas y así chequear cómo va todo. Estas preguntas no agotan el asunto en sí, hay más que se pueden hacer, pero son un buen punto de partida:
- ¿Qué te da claridad mental y paz interior?
- ¿Qué te estresa?
- ¿Cómo te relajas después de un largo día?
- ¿Cómo cuidas tu mente?
Las respuestas a estas preguntas son claves para el bienestar psicológico, y pueden ayudar mucho a aclarar el lugar donde hay que actuar para cuidar adecuadamente la propia mente. Después de todo las cosas que pesan en nuestra psiquis tienen un gran impacto en la forma en que lidiamos con nuestro trabajo/estudios, relaciones, deberes y la vida en general. Ellas pueden crear caos o paz, depende de nuestro cuidado.
“Nubes llegan flotando a mi vida ya no para traer lluvia o dar pie a la tormenta, sino para agregar color al atardecer de mi cielo” Rabindranath Tagore [traducción del original de la autora]
*En Santiago, Chile, se impartirá un curso de meditación y mindfulness en Marzo 2018 para examinar estos temas y más. Si quieres más información puedes revisar el evento o escribir a email@example.com
Créditos de la imagen @soarescastrodf
On mindfulness and consciousness as a solid way to achieve healthy relationships.
Lately, the word “Healthy” is becoming trendy. Every day you find people on Facebook and Instagram posting photos of their healthy meals or writing posts that show affection to their partners or friends or family. I am sure you too have bumped a lot into these hashtags: #healthydiet, #healthyrelationships, #healthylifestyle or #relationshipgoals etc. But are our relationships and food as healthy as the hashtags? Do we really know how to maintain them?
This brings me to the concept of a “A Healthy Diet”. In fact, it is quite easy to follow one and achieve the expected results once you know the right recipe. Not that healthy relationships are not achievable – it’s just that human relationships can be much more complicated than that, and not everyone knows where to start and what to do.
So what is a healthy relationship? This is actually a question with a very broad answer. I believe, no one can define it ultimately, but this is what I find describing it the best: “A healthy relationship keeps the doors and the windows wide open. Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in these environments. Keep your doors and windows open and always have compassion. If the person you love is meant to be in your life, all the windows and the doors in the world will not make them leave. Trust that truth.” – Unknown
But still very broad, huh? So now let me introduce you to what I call “A Recipe for a Healthy Relationship”.
→ Love yourself Cultivate an acceptance of who you are and what you feel impassioned to do. Grow that acceptance of yourself to be strong, that it can’t be hindered by anything or anyone else, including your ego.
“Loving yourself isn’t Vanity, it is Sanity” – Katrina Mayer
→ Be Aware Understand and be conscious of your needs and what you expect from your loved ones. Understanding the human nature and how our minds work is the key to it.
→ Find Your Inner Peace Create peace within yourself first, let it spread out from you. The best part is that peace is already within you, waiting for you to just let it do its work. Meditate at least 15 mins per day and let silence and stillness take you to the center of yourself and the core of life.
“Self-care is so important, when you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You can not serve from an empty vessel.”- Eleanor Brownn
→ Love Mindfully You never want to go so far loving someone to an extent that it hurts, you never want to have an imbalanced love life either. No matter how good person your loved one is, you have to always love mindfully. Mindfulness help you focus your energy equally on all aspects of your life which creates balance at the end and thus happiness and fulfilment.
Mix the ingredients and use it as a base, – a strong base to rely on – and re-enhance whenever possible. From there, you get on to the first step of the recipe:
1. Love truly and put all your effort into your relationships. You never regret the effort you put, it’s the currency of relationships. But remember, true love comes with responsibilities, you have to accept your loved ones as they are. With all their flaws and weak points and messiness. You have to accept them and bring your patience, understanding and energy to help them transform into a better version of themselves. This kind of love brings protection and safety.
2. Respect your partner. It’s not about winning or losing, but love and respect. Always respect in every way possible. Respect is not a reflection of their character but of yours.
3. Appreciate little things, never take your loved ones for granted for that love dies slowly. Appreciate the laughs, the presence, the love they surround you with and the memories you make with them. Hold it close to your heart and remember that nothing stays forever.
4. Be Grateful, say thank you more often. Give them your attention, your care, your time and your presence. There’s no greater gift.
5. Communicate with your loved ones. Opening heart-to-heart talks are very essential for a healthy relationship. Speak your mind and be true to them and yourself. Elaborate and ask for what you need, maybe they just don’t know, maybe they would give you the world if they knew.
6. Evaluate your relationship every now and then. Write down what needs improvement, what are your expectations and your needs if they changed along the last period. Ask your partner about theirs and discuss them thoroughly. Write down a plan in bullet points, go crazy with it! Fail and forget the plan and then go back to it again. Don’t worry as long as you are conscious enough that you will get back to the plan and DO IT.
7. Support your loved ones through their journey, respect their dreams and moreover help to reach them. Be patient with them through their tough times and hold their hands whenever needed. Make them feel safe and cherished every second of every day.
Per relationship: 100% Balance, 100% Happiness, 100% Understanding, 100% Fulfilment, 100% Love.
And Voila, it’s literally ” SERVED WITH LOVE” .
Photo credits: https://www.thespruce.com/origami-puffy-heart-instructions-2540707