Be a Relationship Catalyst

Who are you really?

This is the question that has made many of us get to where we are today. If we are not the body and we are not even the mind, who are we really?

We are created with a name, not the one our parents gave us at birth, but the name we bring by nature, the personal print that characterises our own life from others, the reason why we were born in a certain place, with certain parents or without them, and certain circumstances around.

I believe that we come to this life in order to define who we really are. Each of our life experiences help us recognize our true nature, we are not alone, we are interdependent, not in a sense that we can’t live without others, but in a sense that we search for connection in order to feel SAFE. We also want to take care of others, and in exchange we will accomplish our life purpose.

Everybody is a reflection of you, and the Universe brings exactly what you need, when you need it. Each of them brings a message for personal GROWTH, only if we are ready and aware of that, we can take it as an opportunity instead of an obstacle for self-realization. For example, I hear a lot of people saying: “I regret all the time I lost with that person” instead of saying: “I thank that person for showing me the parts I don’t like about myself”.

Finding what “I” is, open up infinite possibilities for engaging in better and fulfilling relationships. Think about what part of yourself you want to show up. Be and decide who you really are because you can’t give something you don’t have. If you are searching for someone special, you need to become someone special.

What’s the right direction?

If personal interactions are fundamental part of life, it’s our duty to create the most powerful experiences possible. The meaning behind this is to discover where I am going and with whom, therefore, we have the freedom to decide everything we want, to design and create our present moment according to our basic needs and the desire of finishing the job of self-discovery, which is never-ending by the way…

As human beings we have two main characteristics by nature: self-control and love. We are not meant to be weak, this is a reality! You are the life to renew yourself no matter what you’ve been going through!

Self-control is supremacy of power, authority and strength over yourself. We need to say “no” to negative people and negative environments. It takes something to let go of everything that keep us away from being happy, and this is courage to reject what no longer serves us. But again, we need to know our limits, our weaknesses and strengths first.

Loving ourselves does not mean that we are becoming selfish, loving ourselves instead means that we choose only positive to come to us. Love from a compassionate mind requires loving without expectations. And here I want to share my point of view regardless expectations; having no expectations doesn’t mean that we are expecting to complete ourselves with others; or that we don’t need anything from anybody, but that we find ourselves complete and we are ready to share our completeness with others. We all have something to share: time, knowledge, space, interests… that’s why we decide to connect with others and share what we treasure the most.

Find the balance

“Be the change you want to see in others”. To become a catalyst you need to understand that the only person you can change is yourself. We spend most of our time trying to change people and things around us, but the fact is that we are losing our time. If you do something, do it for a reason.

A good friend of mine always reminds me of relating with nourishing and positive people no matter what’s my final goal, he also encourages me to find a real motivation in new projects. The energy I use in daily life for working, volunteering, dating, helping family and friends should be full of power and love. And don’t forget to give yourself.

“Let go and let it be”. Just because you decide to become more open and tolerant doesn’t mean you don’t care about it. If you keep a good perspective, you develop the ability to respond instead of react, avoiding unnecessary stress and arguments, give you the free pass for assertive communication and the right to express yourself better about your feelings and needs, leaving behind guilt and frustration.

Actions for lifetime relationships

Creating positive bonds is not so hard, after you find the right balance and decide who you want to be. It is time to try out your inner wisdom and start correcting your habits to keep that balance and not get out of track. How can we make it easier?

1. Pleasant: let go of the ego, stop trying to be right about everything, specially when it comes to the relationship with your partner or spouse. It’s okay to be angry at someone for a moment but ask yourself the reason why you are feeling that way. A simple “you are right, I’m sorry” bonds you to one another.
2. Positive speech: your ability to speak is one of the ways to connect. Be aware of giving compliments and gratitude to your beloved ones. Laughing, having a good sense of humour, making plans for a social meeting, as well as the tone of voice you use is a part of the mindset that you need to feel good and make others enjoy the time together.
3. Compromise: as I said before, you can’t complete yourself with someone, it’s necessary to give space and proper communication. Everyone has their own needs and opinions, we must respect each other and share their interest or at least motivate them to follow dreams and aspirations.
4. Acceptance: when you see someone as they truly are, you see their good and bad habits, automatically you stay present to the nature of life, and you stop the need to change someone.
5. Be calm: make an effort to be mindful, cultivate inner peace at all times, be the role-model for everyone around you. Make your mind neutral to all senses as all the things we enjoy with our senses will die or end some time in the future. Holding on to them will delay the purification of the mind.

“How deeply you touch another life is how rich your life is.”

Who Are You When Things Change?

On staying sane in times of change. Part I.

Although we live our lives with a considerable degree of certainty regarding of who we are and the roles we play in our family and society, there are moments in which our own self seems foreign to us. We either feel that we have kind of lost ourselves, forgotten about ourselves or that we simply don´t know where it came from – some part of ourselves that arose in a given circumstance. These moments are, many times, a side effect of transformative experiences such as a significant loss or a painful end, the starting of a new career path, falling in/out of love, or becoming a parent. They deserve our careful attention. 

As we experience such changes in life, we need to re-frame our identities since these circumstances seem to demand something that we haven´t discovered yet or haven’t developed from ourselves (an impressive nurturing capacity, an unexpected resilience, a dormant creativity). We transition from A to B. During this process many things change, sometimes quickly, sometimes gradually, but the first thing that we need to do is to let go of the conditioning of our past experiences in order to flourish again in a new form, a form more appropriate to the present circumstance. 

This letting go is never about the past experience itself – let´s say that you had a boss who made you feel incompetent too often and you changed your job. You don´t let go of the skills you developed at that particular job, nor the colleagues you met or the experience acquired, but the negative aftermaths of the circumstance in yourself. The emotions (frustration, anger, regrets etc.), thoughts and judgements about it (I loved it, I disliked it etc.) is the stuff that, after a while, you will need to let go. And after a while because when the letting go phase takes place, we need to exercise some patience with ourselves and take some time out to process the whole thing.  It´s all about time during this phase.

 “Only understand where you are now, and you rediscover your power to make changes.” I Ching

The letting go phase is needed as much as a certain sense of stability since feelings of uncertainty are very present in the times of change. During this transitional time directing our attention towards what is really going on without prejudices (past experiences) is the source of sanity and the knowledge that allows us to make better decisions, to exercise our personal power, to bring out our skills and manage ourselves in a good way. It´s the knowledge that gives us some foundation and options, that makes us free. 

In order to “see” what is in there for us, what reality brings just in front of our eyes, we need a certain inner quality that is known as “equanimity”. In this context equanimity is the capacity that we have to bear the vision without fooling ourselves, to see what forces are working in the here and now, what are our available resources with clear lenses, without judgement or bias. Although a natural quality of inner balance, there are some exercises such as meditation that enhances it and develop it further and wider according to several scientific studies. And it makes sense because, after all, moments of introspection are not only delightful, but also and mostly, revealing. 

Equanimity can also be understood as neutrality, but never as indifference. Remaining indifferent is a form of escapism, a form of denial of the reality. But here reality is what we get and search for; it is our source of empowerment and sanity in moments of change and transition, not something to get rid of or escape from. Equanimity refers, then, to a certain inner attitude that enables us to deal with whatever is going on without feeling out of place, or worse, out of ourselves. And it is the safest passage to blend with reality.

More on reality, spirituality and all that happens in between coming soon.

Integrating Mindfulness meditation into daily life

Meditation is good. Actually great!

Here  are 76 scientifically proven benefits that you may not be aware of; not to mention the ones that you feel when you close your eyes right now and suddenly feel blissful and relaxed!

It does not stop at the cushion or yoga mat in the morning or evenings!

Think of meditation and many people think yoga mats and cushions and a lotus position. What picture does meditation evoke when you meet it the first time? Leave your comments below.

Good news is; there’s more to it than simply sitting down and closing the eyes! The satisfaction and presence found within a lotus position can be created anytime and anywhere. As Jon Kabat Zin proposes, wherever you go, there you are! But how can we make it a routine? Routine projects a kind of boredom and since that’s far from our definition of routine, we shall call it a way of life!

How do I make mindfulness, meditation my way of life?

Good question! Oftentimes, we may get lost in the big words. Trying to comprehend mindfulness and all that meditation is and isn’t. Two things stand out in meditation, the presence that comes with being in the NOW and the choices that emerge from what is happening NOW! The presence, we can call that awareness! The choices, we can call it intention or what I choose to focus on NOW! Simple, right?

Now, we are asking ourselves, how do I become present to what I choose to focus on NOW?

What we all need to understand is that everything good and bad that we aspire to acquire calls for time, attention and energy! And when I say everything, I mean everything! Unless you have a counter opinion, which I would really love to hear in the comment box below…

You claim not to have time?

Do you get distracted? To your phone, Social Media or a chitchat with a friend? For that, you have time, why? Because you have allowed it to happen. How  can we also allow an intentional distraction to bring attention to the present? Here are simple ways to do it:

  1. Set a reminder on your phone or a mindfulness meditation APP  to secure 3-5 minutes breaks to reconnect to the present.

a) How about every 60 minutes?

b) … or based on your concentration span at work, you can set every 20-30 minutes to remember to come back to the present

Whatever works for you is what you choose. You can pick a time-frame and adjust every week or month as you deem fit. A soft tune reminder will do.

2. Ding Dong! Wow! Time travels so fast! I can’t imagine 1 hour is gone!

You set the reminder and… Phew! Now what?

You have a lot of options to choose from based on what you find most appealing, and interestingly, what you connect with. Here are some of them:

a) Paying attention to my body and breath at this moment.

b) Spend some time observing the content of my thoughts and feelings at that moment (What am I thinking right now, How do I feel at this moment? What am I creating at this moment)?

c) Use a meditation object:

i) A personal mantra such as “clear and bright”, love and light” or any other you choose.

ii) A visual object such as the sun, moon or a flower…

d) Reaffirm my intention or a specific quality I am cultivating using the “I am”. An example could be “I am kind, I am Love” I can smile and relax more, acknowledge in gratitude support systems around me among others.

e) Always finish with a smile of gratitude and get back to what needs to be done, with more presence and intention!

Simple as it may seem, nothing will happen unless you take your trigger seriously! You cannot “snooze” the APP or alarm. If you are lacking motivation, or inspiration, which is very important by the way, why not inspire these qualities during your 5 minutes moment of silence? You can reaffirm your motivation too!

In summary, life is complete in itself. The benefits that one gets with bringing more presence and intention to their life are evident at experiential level. No book, blog or article you read will explain it to you any better than you feel it when you try for yourself! But to try, we got to step out of our comfort zones and dare try it NOW! And in case, you lack an inspiration, that too, can form a part of your moments of mindfulness.

These are some of the benefits you will experience in the LATAM Summit

A daily meditation comes along with multiple benefits, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally.  Today I want to share with you 3 of them that can make a big impact on our daily lives:

  1. Cultivating patience

We start understanding that everything comes at the right time and with it brings a lesson to be learned. After realizing this simple but powerful aspect, we can easily open ourselves up to forgive the past, enjoy the present moment, and trust the future and following this new awareness, the levels of anxiety will decrease in such a big way that allows us to accept with love whatever may come.

  1. Boosting our creativity

Meditation helps us reconnect with our inner child allowing us to express freely during our daily activities. It’s a feeling of being one with everything that surrounds us. It’s a moment of bliss, joy, and fulfilment that floods our hearts and puts us into a flow state where everything falls into place… just look at any kid for a few minutes, they instinctively know how to be fully present in every moment, don’t they?

  1. Living the art of “Letting go”

This notion could help us understand that nothing is personal, everything changes and the best way to live fully present is to embrace the moment by accepting it how it is. It’s neither good nor bad; it just is and it is as it has to be.

By understanding how to let go, we can realize that our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, and our actions shape our reality. The outer world is a reflection of our inner world, and our inner world is governed by our beliefs which we have the power to change.

You too can experience these 3 benefits and more during the LATAM Summit . 3 days full of mindful activities, networking spaces with like-minded people, and workshops that will empower us to bring out the best version of ourselves!  Are you ready?

Self-Care over Social Work – Why it is Important to Put our Well-being First.

Being involved in social change is a very rewarding job. Having the ability to help others in their times of need not only makes a difference in their lives but can make a tremendous difference in our own. However, social work and social justice can be extremely taxing on our mental health over time. The stress of serious situations or disasters, the demand for aid, and – at times – the inability to do anything other than the bare minimum; all of this can lead to extensive stress on our minds and our body. Continue reading “Self-Care over Social Work – Why it is Important to Put our Well-being First.”

Meditation Advice from #meditationweek Winners

From 23 to 28 of February Peace Revolution held a #meditationweek on Facebook and Instagram. Each day was dedicated to a new topic connected to meditation, and the participants were asked to share their photos and thoughts on the topic.

Today we are proud to announce the winners of the #meditationweek and to share their insights with our readers. Continue reading “Meditation Advice from #meditationweek Winners”