Be a Relationship Catalyst

Who are you really?

This is the question that has made many of us get to where we are today. If we are not the body and we are not even the mind, who are we really?

We are created with a name, not the one our parents gave us at birth, but the name we bring by nature, the personal print that characterises our own life from others, the reason why we were born in a certain place, with certain parents or without them, and certain circumstances around.

I believe that we come to this life in order to define who we really are. Each of our life experiences help us recognize our true nature, we are not alone, we are interdependent, not in a sense that we can’t live without others, but in a sense that we search for connection in order to feel SAFE. We also want to take care of others, and in exchange we will accomplish our life purpose.

Everybody is a reflection of you, and the Universe brings exactly what you need, when you need it. Each of them brings a message for personal GROWTH, only if we are ready and aware of that, we can take it as an opportunity instead of an obstacle for self-realization. For example, I hear a lot of people saying: “I regret all the time I lost with that person” instead of saying: “I thank that person for showing me the parts I don’t like about myself”.

Finding what “I” is, open up infinite possibilities for engaging in better and fulfilling relationships. Think about what part of yourself you want to show up. Be and decide who you really are because you can’t give something you don’t have. If you are searching for someone special, you need to become someone special.

What’s the right direction?

If personal interactions are fundamental part of life, it’s our duty to create the most powerful experiences possible. The meaning behind this is to discover where I am going and with whom, therefore, we have the freedom to decide everything we want, to design and create our present moment according to our basic needs and the desire of finishing the job of self-discovery, which is never-ending by the way…

As human beings we have two main characteristics by nature: self-control and love. We are not meant to be weak, this is a reality! You are the life to renew yourself no matter what you’ve been going through!

Self-control is supremacy of power, authority and strength over yourself. We need to say “no” to negative people and negative environments. It takes something to let go of everything that keep us away from being happy, and this is courage to reject what no longer serves us. But again, we need to know our limits, our weaknesses and strengths first.

Loving ourselves does not mean that we are becoming selfish, loving ourselves instead means that we choose only positive to come to us. Love from a compassionate mind requires loving without expectations. And here I want to share my point of view regardless expectations; having no expectations doesn’t mean that we are expecting to complete ourselves with others; or that we don’t need anything from anybody, but that we find ourselves complete and we are ready to share our completeness with others. We all have something to share: time, knowledge, space, interests… that’s why we decide to connect with others and share what we treasure the most.

Find the balance

“Be the change you want to see in others”. To become a catalyst you need to understand that the only person you can change is yourself. We spend most of our time trying to change people and things around us, but the fact is that we are losing our time. If you do something, do it for a reason.

A good friend of mine always reminds me of relating with nourishing and positive people no matter what’s my final goal, he also encourages me to find a real motivation in new projects. The energy I use in daily life for working, volunteering, dating, helping family and friends should be full of power and love. And don’t forget to give yourself.

“Let go and let it be”. Just because you decide to become more open and tolerant doesn’t mean you don’t care about it. If you keep a good perspective, you develop the ability to respond instead of react, avoiding unnecessary stress and arguments, give you the free pass for assertive communication and the right to express yourself better about your feelings and needs, leaving behind guilt and frustration.

Actions for lifetime relationships

Creating positive bonds is not so hard, after you find the right balance and decide who you want to be. It is time to try out your inner wisdom and start correcting your habits to keep that balance and not get out of track. How can we make it easier?

1. Pleasant: let go of the ego, stop trying to be right about everything, specially when it comes to the relationship with your partner or spouse. It’s okay to be angry at someone for a moment but ask yourself the reason why you are feeling that way. A simple “you are right, I’m sorry” bonds you to one another.
2. Positive speech: your ability to speak is one of the ways to connect. Be aware of giving compliments and gratitude to your beloved ones. Laughing, having a good sense of humour, making plans for a social meeting, as well as the tone of voice you use is a part of the mindset that you need to feel good and make others enjoy the time together.
3. Compromise: as I said before, you can’t complete yourself with someone, it’s necessary to give space and proper communication. Everyone has their own needs and opinions, we must respect each other and share their interest or at least motivate them to follow dreams and aspirations.
4. Acceptance: when you see someone as they truly are, you see their good and bad habits, automatically you stay present to the nature of life, and you stop the need to change someone.
5. Be calm: make an effort to be mindful, cultivate inner peace at all times, be the role-model for everyone around you. Make your mind neutral to all senses as all the things we enjoy with our senses will die or end some time in the future. Holding on to them will delay the purification of the mind.

“How deeply you touch another life is how rich your life is.”

Peace Revolution Visits Guyana

This inevitable human growth comes with a certain turmoil: as children, we are ignorant to the outside world, we are unaware of what the working world is like, what paying bills are like and what the everyday decision making brings with it. As we advance from childhood to adulthood, we have a more precise view of it. Some may say that adulthood teaches us a lot while others think it brings a discomfort caused by our inner dissatisfaction of where we are and where we want to be. As such, we tend to be unhappy and dissatisfied until, most of the times, our materialistic goals are achieved.

Then along comes two beautiful souls who are trained in mindfulness and meditation, the technique that has allowed many to have a new-found sense of calm and well-being on finding inner peace. Ana Laura Lloveras and Stephanie Bianchi are a part of the Peace Revolution project, and visited Guyana between April 27 and May 1, 2018. These angels are sent to allow us realize a new perspective on inner peace and remaining calm in a world that is constantly giving us reasons to be dissatisfied. They are humans but have the aura to brighten up the room as they enter it; they are capable of making a profound and positive impact on the first meeting which is much needed in the world.

The PR tour allowed me, one of the organizers, to have a new perspective on the importance of inner growth. The techniques of yoga and meditation were taught, and never before had I realized the impact it can have on the mind. The 5-day tour allowed me to see the impact yoga can have on children who are victims of their surrounding. These children would have been a product of their negative surrounding but were able to relate to the exercises and discussions on meditation and yoga and how to make their mind at ease. 

As the tour came to an end, my appreciation for the art of meditation grew. It showed me the importance of not being caught up in the fight to achieving something that is beyond myself – the materialistic items. Meditation taught me that self-care is important especially that of the mind, and taking a few moments for my mental well-being can have a profound impact on my everyday life. Being an adult, I am filled with lots of decision making, problem solving and being caught up in the everyday happening of the world of work. But through the realization of inner peace – a result from meditation – I can be my true-self.

*The tour was organized in cooperation with The Commonwealth Youth Peace Ambassadors Network (CYPAN).











Embracing Obstacles in Meditation and Spiritual Path

What happens if we understand obstacles as an essential part of our spiritual path? Then, how to learn to forgive if nobody hurts us? How to love even the “enemy” if we did not meet it yet? How to practice acceptance if everything seems so easy in life? The ones that are in this path know that obstacles are difficulties on the way – so that we can learn, observe and contemplate them. Then, with time, one can see the message: transformation and growth.

One of my masters used to say that the most painful things in his life were the ones that he was grateful the most. Without them he wouldn’t be in this path, without them he wouldn’t learn how to forgive, how to love and how to serve.

In this article of Lions Roar the author explores the path through obstacles in meditation. What are the obstacles? Why do they appear? Which is the antidote?

There are diverse types of obstacles:
Outer obstacles: being busy, overly involved with family, a hobby or any kind of entertainment can take us time to practice;
Inner obstacles: The most important one is concept. If we stay in theory part and conceptualization of ideas, even if they are about meditation, and not in our meditation practice, our mind will wonder continuously and our practice will be stacked.

Another secondary inner obstacle is emotions. Obvious, negative emotions will disturb our practice.
Secret level: When we have doubts about the dharma, our mind is not completely committed to the practice.
General level: Obstacles are related to our karma. Which are the conditions and environment that we put to our practice and ourselves? Who are our friends? What are our regular activities? Are they healthy? Do we practice compassion? Do we kill living beings easily?

There are also diverse types of antidotes:
Basic level: Mindfulness
“When we’re arrogant and cavalier, taking for granted the details of our body, speech, or mind, an obstacle arises. Then we wonder what happened. At whatever level we are practicing, we need to pay attention to our life and appreciate it.”

Inner level: Practice. Breath and keep your concentration in the present moment and on what is happening to yourself.

External level: Inspiration. This will be higher and most important than being busy, distracted or lazy.

“With mindfulness, awareness, and certainty in the view, we are able to have purpose in our practice and deep confidence in the path. These qualities bring a sense of happiness and satisfaction to whatever we are doing. (..) Practising regularly, cultivating peace and loving-kindness, and renewing our inspiration are the key elements in working with obstacles. This step-by-step approach gradually builds equanimity.”