Be a Relationship Catalyst

Who are you really?

This is the question that has made many of us get to where we are today. If we are not the body and we are not even the mind, who are we really?

We are created with a name, not the one our parents gave us at birth, but the name we bring by nature, the personal print that characterises our own life from others, the reason why we were born in a certain place, with certain parents or without them, and certain circumstances around.

I believe that we come to this life in order to define who we really are. Each of our life experiences help us recognize our true nature, we are not alone, we are interdependent, not in a sense that we can’t live without others, but in a sense that we search for connection in order to feel SAFE. We also want to take care of others, and in exchange we will accomplish our life purpose.

Everybody is a reflection of you, and the Universe brings exactly what you need, when you need it. Each of them brings a message for personal GROWTH, only if we are ready and aware of that, we can take it as an opportunity instead of an obstacle for self-realization. For example, I hear a lot of people saying: “I regret all the time I lost with that person” instead of saying: “I thank that person for showing me the parts I don’t like about myself”.

Finding what “I” is, open up infinite possibilities for engaging in better and fulfilling relationships. Think about what part of yourself you want to show up. Be and decide who you really are because you can’t give something you don’t have. If you are searching for someone special, you need to become someone special.

What’s the right direction?

If personal interactions are fundamental part of life, it’s our duty to create the most powerful experiences possible. The meaning behind this is to discover where I am going and with whom, therefore, we have the freedom to decide everything we want, to design and create our present moment according to our basic needs and the desire of finishing the job of self-discovery, which is never-ending by the way…

As human beings we have two main characteristics by nature: self-control and love. We are not meant to be weak, this is a reality! You are the life to renew yourself no matter what you’ve been going through!

Self-control is supremacy of power, authority and strength over yourself. We need to say “no” to negative people and negative environments. It takes something to let go of everything that keep us away from being happy, and this is courage to reject what no longer serves us. But again, we need to know our limits, our weaknesses and strengths first.

Loving ourselves does not mean that we are becoming selfish, loving ourselves instead means that we choose only positive to come to us. Love from a compassionate mind requires loving without expectations. And here I want to share my point of view regardless expectations; having no expectations doesn’t mean that we are expecting to complete ourselves with others; or that we don’t need anything from anybody, but that we find ourselves complete and we are ready to share our completeness with others. We all have something to share: time, knowledge, space, interests… that’s why we decide to connect with others and share what we treasure the most.

Find the balance

“Be the change you want to see in others”. To become a catalyst you need to understand that the only person you can change is yourself. We spend most of our time trying to change people and things around us, but the fact is that we are losing our time. If you do something, do it for a reason.

A good friend of mine always reminds me of relating with nourishing and positive people no matter what’s my final goal, he also encourages me to find a real motivation in new projects. The energy I use in daily life for working, volunteering, dating, helping family and friends should be full of power and love. And don’t forget to give yourself.

“Let go and let it be”. Just because you decide to become more open and tolerant doesn’t mean you don’t care about it. If you keep a good perspective, you develop the ability to respond instead of react, avoiding unnecessary stress and arguments, give you the free pass for assertive communication and the right to express yourself better about your feelings and needs, leaving behind guilt and frustration.

Actions for lifetime relationships

Creating positive bonds is not so hard, after you find the right balance and decide who you want to be. It is time to try out your inner wisdom and start correcting your habits to keep that balance and not get out of track. How can we make it easier?

1. Pleasant: let go of the ego, stop trying to be right about everything, specially when it comes to the relationship with your partner or spouse. It’s okay to be angry at someone for a moment but ask yourself the reason why you are feeling that way. A simple “you are right, I’m sorry” bonds you to one another.
2. Positive speech: your ability to speak is one of the ways to connect. Be aware of giving compliments and gratitude to your beloved ones. Laughing, having a good sense of humour, making plans for a social meeting, as well as the tone of voice you use is a part of the mindset that you need to feel good and make others enjoy the time together.
3. Compromise: as I said before, you can’t complete yourself with someone, it’s necessary to give space and proper communication. Everyone has their own needs and opinions, we must respect each other and share their interest or at least motivate them to follow dreams and aspirations.
4. Acceptance: when you see someone as they truly are, you see their good and bad habits, automatically you stay present to the nature of life, and you stop the need to change someone.
5. Be calm: make an effort to be mindful, cultivate inner peace at all times, be the role-model for everyone around you. Make your mind neutral to all senses as all the things we enjoy with our senses will die or end some time in the future. Holding on to them will delay the purification of the mind.

“How deeply you touch another life is how rich your life is.”

The Most Effective Ways to Make Your Haters Love You

Having haters is a part of everyone’s life.

Hate arrives in a variety of forms and can originate from relatives, colleagues, cohorts, friends, associates and even random web trolls. Haters are the monstrous side of progress. On the off chance that you have anything going for yourself, you’ve encountered abhor. Regardless of whether you are intelligent, thin, stunning, in a relationship, single, have children, or love your work, you will have haters. You hear the scornful remarks, see the irregular side-eyes, read the disdainful remarks under a social networking post. You feel the pressure when you attempt to examine a current win with a companion and afterwards, you discover that there are individuals dogging you in the face of your good faith. Balancing life becomes the priority when you face tough phase.

The vast majority will tell you to simply overlook your haters. They say that it’s only a part of life that you need to figure out how to manage particularly in the event that you intend to do enormous things. And keeping in mind that is precise and sound guidance, there is an approach to transform some of your haters into companions.

The magic of requesting some help

The speediest and most effortless approach to transform a hater into a companion is to approach them for some help. It’s an all-around inquired about brain science system called the Ben Franklin Effect1. When you ask individuals who dislike you to help you out, it moves their impression of the relationship and influences them to see you as a companion rather than a foe.

The mind needs to wipe out the disharmony. The cerebrum carries on as an outside onlooker. It persistently watches and assesses your activities and afterwards imagines clarifications for why you do what you do. Disharmony happens frequently in circumstances where an individual must pick between two in-congruent convictions or activities. Along these lines, for this situation, the sensible conviction is that favours are for companions. When you approach a hater for some help, you make cacophony and the hater needs to change their impression of you to play out, ask and take out the inconsistency.

Transform haters into friends

Approaching a hater for some help requires quietude and a touch of thought. The support ought to be something sufficiently little that it is effectively performed however not all that unimportant that it appears to be a greater amount of an affront than some help. This implies you ought to think about the qualities, shortcomings, judgement and capacity level of the individual you are inquiring.

In the event that it’s somebody you don’t have the foggiest idea, keep the basic. Acquiring some change at the candy machine or some other little thing, approaching them for help with an application on your cell phone or requesting that they suggest an eatery or other foundation are on the whole awesome favours to request.

When you influence your demand, make sure to guarantee it sounds like you truly require the support and esteem the individual’s assistance. Keep your tone humble and your non-verbal communication open. Also, make certain you offer your gratitude and thank for their assistance.

This strategy isn’t only for haters. It functions admirably with individuals you may not know well, for example, an associate, mellow colleague and even your mystery smash. The straightforward action – making a little and sensible request – can be the impetus that changes a hater into a companion.

Encountering abhors as you work to end up plainly your best self is unavoidable. Transforming each hater into a companion isn’t a useful objective, however you can get to know a few. Essentially lowering yourself, and requesting help with the type of some help, is the initial phase in transforming them from adversary to companion.

Photo by Chungkuk Bae on Unsplash

Becoming Friends with Our Own Minds

A few years ago when I got familiar with meditation I didn’t know where it would take me. I had no expectations and no set goals with it. Meditation took me to a journey on which I have discovered how powerful my mind was and how I let it control me not in a nice way for quite some time. Now, finally, I’m working towards being more friendly with my thoughts, emotions and most of all my inner self. Continue reading “Becoming Friends with Our Own Minds”