What would you do if you witness an act of violence?

A few days ago, a very good friend of mine talked to me through WhatsApp and sent me a voice note crying, feeling frustrated and bad about herself, because she was a witness of an act of violence against a young woman and she didn’t do anything to help the woman.
 
Risk or help?
The minute I heard her voice, I felt the same feeling of frustration. What happened was that a young woman was being mistreated by her husband and nobody did anything to help, not even my friend because she didn’t know how to react. So, she saw the fight and didn’t understand why she didn’t act. She was angry, frustrated with herself and sad about the young woman. My friend asked me: what would I do in a similar situation? Honestly, I didn’t know what to tell her, maybe I would try doing something, trying to find some help, but the fact is, this happens every day, and we have no control over it. Sometimes trying to help can make things worse, and we can put ourselves at a risk.
  
I started to think what I could possibly do to help that woman, to help my friend, to help anybody if I do not have control over the situation. First, I would need to see the situation from a distance, not getting involved or trying to make justice at that moment. I can start by sending loving kindness and compassion to the young woman and the person who was acting in an abusive way.  Sometimes we need to be neutral in situations like this not to add more reasons to fight.
  
We all are going through something
Loving kindness and compassion mean to be gentle to ourselves and to others, no matter what kind of experiences we are going through. Loving kindness and compassion refer to unconditional love and the motivation for others to be happy, to be able to accept the different circumstances that happened in life with calmness, not being overwhelmed by them.
  
Sending loving kindness to another person helps to deal in a better way with their current experience. We all are energy so we can send love energy to someone who is suffering and help them in their process. Like me, I was sending loving kindness to my friend, not to be so hard on herself, and to the young woman – sending her love energy to make her pain lighter, to make her feel that she wasn’t alone, to help her find peace in some way.
  
Practicing sending loving kindness and compassion will help us develop patience and understanding, first – accepting the situation, second – trying to act with calmness and not reacting by impulse and third – not suffering, because there is no point to suffer if we have no control over the situation.  I want to think in a free way, a loving way, realizing that we all are going through something and we need to start acting differently to build a peaceful society.
 
Thanks to this practice, we will become more empathetic with ourselves and others. Actually, it makes me realize that we have more power than we thought, that sharing loving kindness and compassion is always a great way to spread peace to others, and we have that power within us.
  
In the frequency of peace and joy
So, how we can spread loving kindness and compassion? First, we can think about something that gave us a feeling of happiness and love like a baby or a puppy. Can you feel love for them? Or maybe remember a place where you feel love and try to reproduce that feeling. It is important that the feeling becomes real because that is what we are going to send to another person. In this case, I  saw a young woman being at peace, being embraced with a big energy of love, I could feel that energy in me, and that calmed my mind, so I left behind all those feelings of frustration, because I could see through the act of violence, I could see a woman being protected and loved.
  
Practicing loving kindness and compassion will calm our mind and body, it will bring us peace and joy. And by practicing this we will help rather than fight against something because by sending love energy we are creating more love and peace, we are vibrating in this frequency, and we will integrate this in the way we act and treat ourselves and others.
  
If you want to practice loving kindness and compassion, you can start here.
  
Photo credits: Unsplash

Be a Relationship Catalyst

Who are you really?

This is the question that has made many of us get to where we are today. If we are not the body and we are not even the mind, who are we really?

We are created with a name, not the one our parents gave us at birth, but the name we bring by nature, the personal print that characterises our own life from others, the reason why we were born in a certain place, with certain parents or without them, and certain circumstances around.

I believe that we come to this life in order to define who we really are. Each of our life experiences help us recognize our true nature, we are not alone, we are interdependent, not in a sense that we can’t live without others, but in a sense that we search for connection in order to feel SAFE. We also want to take care of others, and in exchange we will accomplish our life purpose.

Everybody is a reflection of you, and the Universe brings exactly what you need, when you need it. Each of them brings a message for personal GROWTH, only if we are ready and aware of that, we can take it as an opportunity instead of an obstacle for self-realization. For example, I hear a lot of people saying: “I regret all the time I lost with that person” instead of saying: “I thank that person for showing me the parts I don’t like about myself”.

Finding what “I” is, open up infinite possibilities for engaging in better and fulfilling relationships. Think about what part of yourself you want to show up. Be and decide who you really are because you can’t give something you don’t have. If you are searching for someone special, you need to become someone special.

What’s the right direction?

If personal interactions are fundamental part of life, it’s our duty to create the most powerful experiences possible. The meaning behind this is to discover where I am going and with whom, therefore, we have the freedom to decide everything we want, to design and create our present moment according to our basic needs and the desire of finishing the job of self-discovery, which is never-ending by the way…

As human beings we have two main characteristics by nature: self-control and love. We are not meant to be weak, this is a reality! You are the life to renew yourself no matter what you’ve been going through!

Self-control is supremacy of power, authority and strength over yourself. We need to say “no” to negative people and negative environments. It takes something to let go of everything that keep us away from being happy, and this is courage to reject what no longer serves us. But again, we need to know our limits, our weaknesses and strengths first.

Loving ourselves does not mean that we are becoming selfish, loving ourselves instead means that we choose only positive to come to us. Love from a compassionate mind requires loving without expectations. And here I want to share my point of view regardless expectations; having no expectations doesn’t mean that we are expecting to complete ourselves with others; or that we don’t need anything from anybody, but that we find ourselves complete and we are ready to share our completeness with others. We all have something to share: time, knowledge, space, interests… that’s why we decide to connect with others and share what we treasure the most.

Find the balance

“Be the change you want to see in others”. To become a catalyst you need to understand that the only person you can change is yourself. We spend most of our time trying to change people and things around us, but the fact is that we are losing our time. If you do something, do it for a reason.

A good friend of mine always reminds me of relating with nourishing and positive people no matter what’s my final goal, he also encourages me to find a real motivation in new projects. The energy I use in daily life for working, volunteering, dating, helping family and friends should be full of power and love. And don’t forget to give yourself.

“Let go and let it be”. Just because you decide to become more open and tolerant doesn’t mean you don’t care about it. If you keep a good perspective, you develop the ability to respond instead of react, avoiding unnecessary stress and arguments, give you the free pass for assertive communication and the right to express yourself better about your feelings and needs, leaving behind guilt and frustration.

Actions for lifetime relationships

Creating positive bonds is not so hard, after you find the right balance and decide who you want to be. It is time to try out your inner wisdom and start correcting your habits to keep that balance and not get out of track. How can we make it easier?

1. Pleasant: let go of the ego, stop trying to be right about everything, specially when it comes to the relationship with your partner or spouse. It’s okay to be angry at someone for a moment but ask yourself the reason why you are feeling that way. A simple “you are right, I’m sorry” bonds you to one another.
2. Positive speech: your ability to speak is one of the ways to connect. Be aware of giving compliments and gratitude to your beloved ones. Laughing, having a good sense of humour, making plans for a social meeting, as well as the tone of voice you use is a part of the mindset that you need to feel good and make others enjoy the time together.
3. Compromise: as I said before, you can’t complete yourself with someone, it’s necessary to give space and proper communication. Everyone has their own needs and opinions, we must respect each other and share their interest or at least motivate them to follow dreams and aspirations.
4. Acceptance: when you see someone as they truly are, you see their good and bad habits, automatically you stay present to the nature of life, and you stop the need to change someone.
5. Be calm: make an effort to be mindful, cultivate inner peace at all times, be the role-model for everyone around you. Make your mind neutral to all senses as all the things we enjoy with our senses will die or end some time in the future. Holding on to them will delay the purification of the mind.

“How deeply you touch another life is how rich your life is.”
-Sadhguru

5 lessons from day 10 of my 90 days integrity challenge

The first quarter of the year is gone!

In March 2018, I realized that the first quarter of 2018 was quickly coming to an end. I thought of the resolutions I made and the progress so far and wondered what happened.

“We make such huge chunks of our goals as long as they seem far out of reach, don’t we?” I thought.

After attending The Landmark Forum, one of the bucket lists for my 2018, I came right into contact with integrity.

Honor your self before anything or anyone else

Integrity in this new sense has nothing to do with being a good person, or a person of morality. In fact, it’s the opposite, getting comfortable with being a “bad” person.

What has goodness and badness got to do with life anyway? So, let’s get those words out of this space for now.

Good and bad is an impression we make and try to keep in the face of others. Integrity, on the other hand, is waking up to honor the commitments and words we make with ourselves and our values.

So, take a moment and recall…

How many times do you honor the commitments you make to others? Keeping time, working, among others? And now, how many times do we honor the commitments we make to ourselves? To wake up at a certain time, to meditate a certain number of times a day?

From my evaluation, I had become an expert at trying to impress others by honoring their expectations of me and not honoring the commitments I made with myself.

Results?

My resolutions never get done.

I am always busy working and never having a time to rest and do things that matter to me.

What’s my predictable future by December 2018? A few resolutions, no major progress and a ton of excuses at why I didn’t do the things I set to do.

So, in 90, I am changing all these and setting a new template to honor myself and be authentic to myself, Period!

It’s day 10; here are 5 lessons I have gathered so far:

  1.  There is a difference between an interested fellow and a committed one.

Interest does not get you far, commitment; telling yourself you shall do it and feeling the impact send shivers down your spine is what I call commitment. Its actually deeper than that. Getting centered and feeling awakened by your decision and desire for change!

2. Integrity is not a destination

We don’t end up saying I am all full of integrity and now ready to face the world. Honoring ourselves is not a destination, it’s a way of life. It’s a moment by moment decision making that gets you waking up when you need to meditate, it gets you taking a glass of water to meditate more, or run 6 miles when you are tired and need to stop. It’s a way of life!

3. Enjoy this journey

90 days isn’t long, and people easily forget to the beauty of this moment. Any challenge is not much about the finishing line (even though the sweet sign of a victory is delicious) as it is in the sweet victories of recognizing that you are beginning to get it and its working in your life with delight! Enjoy, have fun, laugh at yourself, and let go!

4. Journal every step of the way!

I am writing down my experiences of this journey and guess what is coming up, a mindfulness and focus journal! Each day, I uncover a new layer that is becoming clearer. In fact, by end of April, the journal will be ready for use by anyone who wishes to embark on a challenge of integrity and mindfulness focus. I love writing and writer do what they love. You don’t have to love writing to journal. That is why I am creating a journal that will be suitable to anyone who loves journaling or not; because its fun to look back, see what you did, laugh at yourself, see a clearer vision and write it down!

5. Just Start

Oh, I find blog posts such as this very boring. I mean you read read and read and smile and say “nice” and even share, but unless you look at your life and just make a simple change NOW, its all nothing. So, just start. Perhaps you want to start by sharing what came up for you as you read through?

Its your turn!

You can reach me on Facebook to get more info of the 90 days challenge!

 

Lean in, Stand out!

Retour vers soi, une voie de la liberté.

Je suis curieuse de savoir comment les choses que nous connaissons aujourd’hui, seraient-elles si on ne nous les avait pas décrites à l’avance.. Je me demande que serait le monde, si chacun de nous avait la liberté de suivre sa propre voie, d’être ce qu’il est sans pression sociale ou jugement, est ce qu’on choisirait l’université, le travail, le mariage ?

Continue reading “Retour vers soi, une voie de la liberté.”

Relieve chronic pain with meditation

chronic pain

“I am in pain! It hurts so much I cannot get up in the morning, I cannot live a normal life”, you may hear this on a daily basis as more than one person out of ten is constantly experiencing chronic pain (this is if we generalise based on the research made by National Institutes of Health in the USA, and assume the rest of the world’s population is in the similar pain conditions). Continue reading “Relieve chronic pain with meditation”

Meditation Advice from #meditationweek Winners

From 23 to 28 of February Peace Revolution held a #meditationweek on Facebook and Instagram. Each day was dedicated to a new topic connected to meditation, and the participants were asked to share their photos and thoughts on the topic.

Today we are proud to announce the winners of the #meditationweek and to share their insights with our readers. Continue reading “Meditation Advice from #meditationweek Winners”