The very first time when I heard about meditation happened many years ago when I was 16. I had been introduced to the world of deeper understanding, although back then I have been too young to comprehend. I remember that I was attracted by this secret power called meditation. People who meditated seemed to be so different. But I wasn’t sure If I was curious or opened enough to learn more.
I’ve tried meditation long before my experience with Peace Revolution. I remember precisely how I tried to calm down my mind and stop this carousel of my thoughts, sitting with my eyes closed. So I was thinking much more than usually because in between my regular reflection there were popping some thoughts that I can’t think. Impossible challenge. So I decided that it’s not going to work well with my temper and quit. I just wasn’t ready.
It was until I started to see changes in my best friend. The changes were so noticeable that almost every time we met he was glowing with light, warmth, love, good. When I asked him what is the reason behind that, he always answered: meditation. That inspired me. And that was just the beginning.
My past was full of negative emotions and I used to suffer a lot. I have hidden in this little world that I’ve created for myself. The process of change was not easy, often associated with enormous pain. What is more, at the age of 18 I moved out from my house and had to become fully responsible for myself.
It taught me a lot. I repeatedly moved around, changed my job several times. Whenever I realized that I somehow settled down, I quickly had to change something. It just wasn’t compliant with my values.
Being a very emotional person, I had a little understanding of how to deal with emotions. I didn’t understand why I feel what I feel. And I had no idea how to change it. The process of my transformation began with a big emotional experience that has influenced my whole future life.
From that moment on I started to build my awareness, meditation started to be my medication. And that was just the tip of the mountain. For the first few weeks, I usually gave up. Nothing seemed to work well. The number of thoughts, excuses, evaluation – simply overwhelmed me. But every day I came back to immerse in myself again, and found the source of my inner peace. Every day I was facing the storm. Storm consisting of thoughts, expectations, ego, emotions, stress. I was impatient. I wanted to see the effects right away. The more I wanted the more none of it came out. That was my lesson.
Firstly I had to accept everything that happened. Secondly, understand that everything that happened – happened for a reason. Suffering gave me strength and helped me expand my consciousness, understanding, get to know myself better.
When you open you heart and mind you can see things, people and situations from the different point of view – much deeper. When you accept this, then you can take your lesson and develop, by just following the example of others.
Today I am thankful for everything that I went through. It helped me to wake up. Happiness lives in us and is built on many elements, but peace of mind is the basis for building anything. But I must admit that a few months ago I was sure that happiness comes from outside. That we can be happy only if we find our passion, help people, travel. Now I know that when we are not at peace when we don’t have any connection with what’s going on inside, then we just attach to thoughts, situations, moments that give us excitement. But excitement is not happiness. Happiness is built on peace.
I cannot describe in words how happy I am that I decided to start my journey with meditation. Looking back I must admit It was not always easy. Transcending my limitations, changing my habits is not a light issue. However, I know that today, meditation has an indescribable impact on my life.
Since I got involved in the peace revolution self – development meditation program I can see significant changes in myself. As if my love, goodness, acceptance, understanding began to rise. I started to see more. I’m happy with every little thing. Today I understand why it took 29 years to get to this point – nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.
By Claudia Castaldi
