On mindfulness and consciousness as a solid way to achieve healthy relationships.
Lately, the word “Healthy” is becoming trendy. Every day you find people on Facebook and Instagram posting photos of their healthy meals or writing posts that show affection to their partners or friends or family. I am sure you too have bumped a lot into these hashtags: #healthydiet, #healthyrelationships, #healthylifestyle or #relationshipgoals etc. But are our relationships and food as healthy as the hashtags? Do we really know how to maintain them?
This brings me to the concept of a “A Healthy Diet”. In fact, it is quite easy to follow one and achieve the expected results once you know the right recipe. Not that healthy relationships are not achievable – it’s just that human relationships can be much more complicated than that, and not everyone knows where to start and what to do.
So what is a healthy relationship? This is actually a question with a very broad answer. I believe, no one can define it ultimately, but this is what I find describing it the best: “A healthy relationship keeps the doors and the windows wide open. Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in these environments. Keep your doors and windows open and always have compassion. If the person you love is meant to be in your life, all the windows and the doors in the world will not make them leave. Trust that truth.” – Unknown
But still very broad, huh? So now let me introduce you to what I call “A Recipe for a Healthy Relationship”.
→ Love yourself Cultivate an acceptance of who you are and what you feel impassioned to do. Grow that acceptance of yourself to be strong, that it can’t be hindered by anything or anyone else, including your ego.
“Loving yourself isn’t Vanity, it is Sanity” – Katrina Mayer
→ Be Aware Understand and be conscious of your needs and what you expect from your loved ones. Understanding the human nature and how our minds work is the key to it.
→ Find Your Inner Peace Create peace within yourself first, let it spread out from you. The best part is that peace is already within you, waiting for you to just let it do its work. Meditate at least 15 mins per day and let silence and stillness take you to the center of yourself and the core of life.
“Self-care is so important, when you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You can not serve from an empty vessel.”- Eleanor Brownn
→ Love Mindfully You never want to go so far loving someone to an extent that it hurts, you never want to have an imbalanced love life either. No matter how good person your loved one is, you have to always love mindfully. Mindfulness help you focus your energy equally on all aspects of your life which creates balance at the end and thus happiness and fulfilment.
Mix the ingredients and use it as a base, – a strong base to rely on – and re-enhance whenever possible. From there, you get on to the first step of the recipe:
1. Love truly and put all your effort into your relationships. You never regret the effort you put, it’s the currency of relationships. But remember, true love comes with responsibilities, you have to accept your loved ones as they are. With all their flaws and weak points and messiness. You have to accept them and bring your patience, understanding and energy to help them transform into a better version of themselves. This kind of love brings protection and safety.
2. Respect your partner. It’s not about winning or losing, but love and respect. Always respect in every way possible. Respect is not a reflection of their character but of yours.
3. Appreciate little things, never take your loved ones for granted for that love dies slowly. Appreciate the laughs, the presence, the love they surround you with and the memories you make with them. Hold it close to your heart and remember that nothing stays forever.
4. Be Grateful, say thank you more often. Give them your attention, your care, your time and your presence. There’s no greater gift.
5. Communicate with your loved ones. Opening heart-to-heart talks are very essential for a healthy relationship. Speak your mind and be true to them and yourself. Elaborate and ask for what you need, maybe they just don’t know, maybe they would give you the world if they knew.
6. Evaluate your relationship every now and then. Write down what needs improvement, what are your expectations and your needs if they changed along the last period. Ask your partner about theirs and discuss them thoroughly. Write down a plan in bullet points, go crazy with it! Fail and forget the plan and then go back to it again. Don’t worry as long as you are conscious enough that you will get back to the plan and DO IT.
7. Support your loved ones through their journey, respect their dreams and moreover help to reach them. Be patient with them through their tough times and hold their hands whenever needed. Make them feel safe and cherished every second of every day.
Per relationship: 100% Balance, 100% Happiness, 100% Understanding, 100% Fulfilment, 100% Love.
And Voila, it’s literally ” SERVED WITH LOVE” .
Photo credits: https://www.thespruce.com/origami-puffy-heart-instructions-2540707