If I got a penny every time I felt stuck or down, I would have become a millionaire! OK, that is a metaphor! In other words, life was showing me I really had to work on this and I did not find it easy to do so. I tried to convince myself that yes, this is what I need to do and then everything would be just fine. Pushing it and failing. Isn’t this self-love thing overrated? How do I know I am loving myself enough? I was thinking. And this is it – I was thinking and thinking, not allowing myself to feel. Not knowing how to develop that within.
An Advice From An Old Lady
On one of my tours in India my group was waiting in a line in front of Taj Mahal. Line was barely moving. So we had a lot of time to chat with each other. Random talks twisted into a deeper conversation with one older lady. Despite her age, the spirit she carried was so powerful and inspiring! Somehow we ended up talking about self-confidence and I opened up very honestly (what from a professional point of view a guide should not do, but as a human, it is something that keeps people closer to each other) and told her: „You know, even after years of being a guide here and there, working with people and dealing with sometimes extreme situations it might look that I am super confident and always knowing how to do things right but I am not. Inside there is this little scared me, not having a clue what is going on, doubting myself and feeling insecure. And it is a very difficult job to keep things going when it’s like this. Sometimes I feel like schizophrenic.“
An advice she gave me was simple yet amazing. „You know, do one thing and see the difference. Every morning when you look at yourself in a mirror, say out loud: “I am a beautiful being and I am enough. I am proud of myself and I love myself. I am happy and I got this. Or just use different words day to day but do appreciate yourself consciously.“ She actually nailed it. This wise, old lady was what I needed at the moment.
Treat Your Inner Child As You Would Treat Your Own Kid
So you might be this little scared child inside, afraid to go out and bring light around. That’s ok if you feel comfortable with it. But, I assume, as you are reading this article, you might want to work on self-love. Not feeling that you are enough for others hurts. So if you do not hear words of appreciation from people around, you do that job yourself! Be a super hero for yourself, be your own help that you need the most. Compliment yourself, smile at yourself, hug yourself from time to time. Have that compassion with you because nobody else can understand how it feels to be you more than yourself.
If you have a child or a niece or so, what way do you behave to them? You are gentle with them, you love them, you have patience, you are not screaming or using bad words to make them cry, not being harsh with them or discouraging them, but you rather believe in them, support them and help them. So why don’t we treat ourselves with all that respect and love as if we were our own child?
Make Pampering Yourself Your First Priority
How many times during a day this feeling that you want to appreciate yourself, your work, your strong body serving you and keeping you in pace is trying to sneak into your mind and be heard but you rather shut it down, do not pay attention, postpone it or so? Are you looking at it as something that is not welcomed? If I think I am great, the others will find me too selfish, showing off with over-confidence, they will look at me through the fingers, etc.. Can you hear these doubts in your mind? These little voices keeping you down?
We tend to sacrifice relationship with ourselves for other’s sake, for what they think. How ridiculous! We are investing all these precious gifts, time and energy in a wrong direction! Instead of outward, we should spread it inward first! To feel complete. And start believing that it is not selfish, or against the social rules to feel great to be fully me. Training our mind not to limit us but to be our best companion is a VERY rewarding thing. Investing time into yourself and treating you as your best friend, your lover, someone who deserves all this attention feels so nice. Why so? Because you are worth it! Believe in it, feel it and live it!
Take another step on your self-love journey by starting our Self Development Program.
Photo credits: Martina Trginova