Whenever we visualise a bright future, we see ourselves surrounded by a loving supportive partner whom life without would be just meaningless. How to get there? What if my partner bugs me? What if we are a couple who just lost that spark?
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Try out these tips and I am positive you’ll be surprised by their effectiveness.
1. Show gratitude.
Tell your partner how grateful you are for having them. How grateful you are for the small things they do. Thank them for cooking a meal, making the bed or even picking up the children. Yes, it might be their duty to do so, but the words “thank you” will make miracles. And trust me, they will be more willing to give you even more.
2. Encourage the good behavior.
To get your partner repeat a positive behavior that you like, make sure you catch them doing it and mention it right away! They would be more willing to go the extra mile just to impress you. You want this behavior to last as long as you want, praise your partner to his mother, family or friends, and I assure you, you are in for it for a long time! I remember I once thanked my brother for helping me with some errands in front of my mom and the entire family. Ever since, he never let me down or said no.
3. Accept them the way they are.
Allow your partner to be who they are. Drop you scalpel and stop wearing the fixer hat. You chose to be together because you were in love with each other the way you truly are. Accept who they became as a result of being with you.
4. Allow them to be.
If your partner is doing something that bugs you – for instance, my boyfriend always use the word “sorry” and even though it is a good thing, it still bugs me – repeat this mantra by Louise Hay: “I forgive you for not being the way I want you to be. I set you free”. And Lord, it is effective!
5. Never criticize.
Criticism kills love. I rather call it the silent relationship killer.
It creeps on relationships slowly and sabotages them. For you are not perfect, your partner will never be either. Trying to be or to make them perfect is just pointless. Perfectionism is a curse. Don’t let it spoil your relationships.
6. Give them gifts.
Find five minutes throughout your day to think of a gift for your partner. It doesn’t have to be something big. A love card, dinner invite, or even a post-it that reads “I am so lucky to have you”, “I love you just the way you are”.
Color your relationship with small loving gestures and be creative. Initiating such acts of love will attract your partner’s appreciation. You will be amazed how this small gesture does wonders.
7. Spend some quality time with them.
Once in a while, take time only for the two of you. And watch out from complaining, nagging or interruptions. Spend time telling each other how grateful and happy you are for having them. How much you miss them. Close your eyes and touch them; touch their soul with your heart. One exercise me and my friends always find effective is completing this sentence at least ten times. “I love it when you…”
Have fun with this. Soon, you will learn to know yourself and your partner in ways you never thought possible.
Being or not being happy in a relationship is rather a reflection of your focus. Focus on what you want to experience and voilà, you will have more of that. Pretty simple, huh?