In this article, I want to share some information about the power of giving without attachment to the final outcome. When our mind is depending on a certain result and we don’t get that result, we tend to feel disappointed and we lose the self-motivation to continue the journey of giving.
Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to let go of expectations when giving? Sometimes we say to ourselves: if I do what’s good, I’ll get something or if I do this, I’ll get that…
The Ego-mind state
I want you to imagine that something else is holding on the idea of selfishness, that something is somehow different than yourself. The idea of wanting something in return for your actions comes from a state of mind that doesn’t feel connected, complete, full, or satisfied.
That mind state separates us, one from another. And this is where we fail in achieving long-lasting relationships – when there’s no real connection between ourselves and others, only the superficial idea to get something in return.
This structure limits ourselves from being empathetic, kind, and compassionate. This is called the EGO.
The ego comes from a place of lack and creates selfishness which also lives in the sense of not enough, something like me, me, me. Does it sound familiar?
In this state, it is very difficult to give without expectations, because the ego identifies with many ideas of who you are. You also want to be recognized in a certain way, you want to be better than others, the self-image gets kind of distorted, you no longer act as yourself but you act according to the idea that the ego holds about you.
When we talk about giving with no expectations, no matter how good your intentions are, if you are under the ego-mind, there’s always good and bad, and this creates discomfort in the idea of giving. Giving becomes conditioned to outer results rather than the satisfaction of sharing who we are and the resources we have.
I have experienced that in the essence of my being, I am complete. There’s no need for “me, me, me” again. When I find stillness and quietness, where the ego-mind is no longer in control of my thoughts and actions, it is where I can experience the grace of giving freely and lovingly.
Letting go of the Ego
The ego doesn’t want you to share, to be happy for others, to show yourself vulnerable, compassionate and empathetic. This actually looks like an internal battle; on one side there’s this part of you that want to do good for others, on the other hand, there’s the selfishness of the ego, jealousy, envy, the need to put yourself first, to think only about your own well-being.
To step out of your ego-mind, you have to give up who you are in your mind, you must change inside.
When we talk about others’ happiness, keep in mind that we are dealing with the most terrible human emotion – jealousy. So it is not only about not being selfish, it is about acting accordingly. When I think about remaining aware of the present moment, it is not about knowing, it is about having the discernment to choose wisely, to be coherent between our intention, our thoughts, and our bodily actions.
Our job is to align ourselves with the universal consciousness. To experience what is the essence of your being, we are complete, right here, right now.
As Eckhart Tolle mentions in his book A New Earth: “You don’t become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge. But it can only emerge if something fundamental changes in your state of consciousness.”
No matter how good your intentions are, you will always encounter an inner battle.
The second step is the awareness of the self.
This happens when you become really aware of the TRUTH OF YOUR OWN BEING. It is when you sit in meditation, relax your body, let go of all worries, limiting beliefs, past, and future, and you keep practicing until your mind becomes still, at one single point, empty completely, no need to keep projections in the mind, “I am this”, “I am that” – because all of that will be a distraction to give unconditionally. Then you experience that everything you think you know about yourself, others and life in general, is only a part of the illusion, the ego-mind, and it is not necessary for your life purpose. You become humble, and humility comes from a place of egolessness.
Where is the magic?
Experiences are the most rewarding tool for happiness. When you give, there are two main components; the first one is that you do it for yourself to make yourself happy, content and at peace. Second, you do it for others, even though it is hard to measure the results, as you continue doing the work, you notice how the grace unfolds from within to flow with giving unconditionally. This I like to call an inspiration.
The level of empathy and compassion that we develop from within is the key to build deep and lasting relationships with others, perhaps, having the ability to give to anyone without having a condition in between.
Giving creates power, a power that you can use to help hundreds of people.
Remember you have so much love within, so much peace, so much kindness that your heart can’t go empty. Once you give, you will notice there’s a lot more remaining. The level of wholeness and completeness increases every time you practice giving without expectations.
Be a conscious human being, in my opinion, that’s our life purpose, be the light in the world and be grateful for that.
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Photo credits: @AnaiHernández